Countless parents around the globe struggle to fulfil their parenting responsibilities, and while that’s common and okay, the guilt that comes with it is not. If you too, are a parent, trying to raise your kid into a good, happy human being, and feel guilty for any possible reason, so much so that it is affecting you more than it should, here’s a bit of help.
Ditch the parental guilt
The key rule when it comes to parenting is to be realistic with expectations- both, with your kid and with yourself. Don’t try too hard to make your kid the ‘perfect’ child who gets straight A’s and excel at everything- that’s not possible, and nor is you being the ‘perfect’ parent. Instead, learn to accept the flaws more openly, and focus on building your strengths.
A lot of parents tend to struggle with this one- in the process of raising a child, they forget to be compassionate with themselves. When their kid misbehaves, they blame themselves. When they aren’t able to attend their kid’s soccer practise on time because they had a meeting, they blame themselves. All of that blame can quickly transform into guilt, and these parents then end up feeling they’re not worthy at all, and that they don’t have it in them to be good parents. If that sounds like you, remember that you need to be a bit easy on yourself and give yourself the time and chance. You might be trying too hard to do everything, and you too, need to take care of yourself, among other things.
Prioritising things, tasks and people in your life can really help. This can not just clear your mind but help you focus more on things that are important to you, and brings balance into your life. Do more of things that you feel happy to do, and let go of those that are unimportant.
Acknowledge your Efforts
This may be a bit tough to do for some, but just as you acknowledge and appreciate the efforts and successes of those around you, learn to do the same with yourself too- especially when you’re plagued with the guilt about things that you didn’t do.
Last, but not the least, here’s another effective trick to transform the guilt into a more empowering emotional state is this- do a quick analysis of your emotions the next time you feel guilty. Ask yourself these questions- why are you feeling guilty? What belief drives this guilt? Does this belief come from outside you or from within you? What can you do about it? Is there anything that can help change it, or is it a lesson that you need to learn from?