Birthday blues pity party – By Invitation Only

March 12, 2019

Throughout the year I like to think that I make a real effort for other peoples birthdays. Having them listed on my calendar so I can see in advance which one is next. Ensuring I have enough time to think about what gift they would like. Working out their interests, their likes/dislikes, thinking whether they have hinted at anything recently. Ensuring that birthday cards are chosen, a card from Mr Boo and I, as well as a card from the children.

Then you have the arrangements of how we are going to celebrate. A family meal out, a get together at home or something more special. Maybe a day out somewhere. Plotting the date on the calendar, double checking the time and last minute arrangements. Is there anything we need to bring along? Has someone arranged a cake? etc. etc. etc.

Birthdays throughout the year a big deal. A chance to celebrate and join together for fun and laughter.

Except when it is my birthday

Let’s start with the fact that I’m one of those unfortunate people who have a birthday in December. Add on to this that it falls in that awful Twixmas time between Christmas and New Year. So a low key birthday is something that I’m pretty used to. I would even go so far as to say I hate my birthday because as each year passes I find myself more and more disappointed by the lack of effort. Which then in turn annoys me because I have allowed myself to believe that maybe this birthday would be different. Only for it to be just as much of a let down that I’m used to.

HOWEVER, I’m calling time on birthdays and the amount of effort I put in throughout the year. If people can’t be bothered to make an effort for my birthday then why should I make one for theirs?

There are never any grand plans for my birthday. No get-togethers, no meals out and certainly no childcare to enjoy a night out with Mr Boo. In fact, I don’t always get a birthday cake, which also means that I don’t even get happy birthday sung to me. Don’t even get me started in the lack of effort people put into gift buying.

Well I’m done

I’ve had enough, so this year I’m stepping back and almost everyone will be gaining a £10 note in their birthday card. And if we are invited to celebrate their birthday I hope that they won’t be too annoyed when I say ‘sorry I can’t make it’.


Photo Credit: unsplash-logoS O C I A L . C U T unsplash-logoBrooke Lark unsplash-logoMatheus Frade

15 Comments

  • Anosa March 12, 2019 at 5:45 pm

    I can’t remember the last time I had a birthday cake or even bothered with my birthday, I have been calling time on mine for a while.

  • Kim Carberry March 12, 2019 at 7:59 pm

    Good on you! You do right! I feel the same about my birthday. All my friends and family have theirs over the summer and there are nights/meals out organised but for mine nothing. It’s the run up to Christmas so no one wants to spend anything. At least my close family get me a cake every year so it’s not all bad x

  • Anon March 13, 2019 at 7:04 am

    My father died 2 days before my birthday this year. I dreaded opening the card from my Mum as I knew it would have “love Mum and Dad” written on it – the last time I’d ever see those words in any card. I spent the day making phone calls to funeral directors, the bank and other organisations.

    My birthday is Valentines Day..the day of love but I felt so emotionally drained, I just wanted the day gone. I’d do anything to have a final birthday with my Dad again.

  • nichola - Globalmouse March 13, 2019 at 10:40 am

    That’s no good. I’d give up too – hopefully it might create a bit more of a buzz for your next birthday!

  • Kacie Morgan March 13, 2019 at 11:07 am

    I’m glad you wrote this. It might seem a bit negative to some, but I’ve come to feel exactly the same as this about my own birthdays over the years. This year, I’m celebrating my 30th in Grenada (Caribbean) and I have to say, not having to plan a big get-together with all my friends has actually been quite a refreshing thought!

  • Briony March 13, 2019 at 12:19 pm

    My birthday is the same, 6th Jan for me, this year 3 members of my close family didn’t even bother with gifts. So I’m with you, I’m not making an any more, not a single one.

  • Kathryn Hipkin March 13, 2019 at 6:37 pm

    Deepest sympathy from me too; I have the misfortune to have my birthday on New Years Eve, the absolute WORST day, especially as i don’t drink. Some years I’ve done better than others, by having the sense to say what I wanted instead of hoping someone else would do it but I have never managed anything special for a BIG birthday – yet.
    Best birthday i ever had was when we went swimming then to Frankie and Bennys with the kids, saw my mum and my friends later on. Mum still sometimes babysits during the day so we can try and slip away fr an Indian or something else the kids won’t eat but quite often they’ve ran out of things at that time of year (boo!).
    Besides, £10 is still quite generous in my book. The cards are always from all of us, not a separate one from the kids, unless they have wanted to make one as well.
    And Happy Birthday when it comes!

  • Winsze March 13, 2019 at 6:55 pm

    I’m sorry to hear your friends and family don’t make an effort on your birthday, ☹️ I hope this article will help them realise how you feel.

  • Rhian Westbury March 13, 2019 at 10:01 pm

    I know how you feel as my birthday is in January and people are usually too poor or tired to do much! X

  • Fatima March 14, 2019 at 9:37 am

    My birthday is coming just in 2 months and I haven’t planned anything yet! Last year, my family and I we went to Switzerland.

  • Jennifer Gladwin March 14, 2019 at 8:07 pm

    Aw that’s a shame, especially when you’ve put so much effort into others. I wouldn’t like to have a December birthday for this reason x

  • Laura Schwormstedt March 15, 2019 at 2:09 am

    I can imagine this must be annoying especially when you put so much effort in. I have to say since becoming a mother mine have been somewhat of a non-event as mine is a week before my eldest but as I get older I care less about my birthday and actually prefer no fuss and low key

    Laura x

  • Kara Guppy March 26, 2019 at 8:31 pm

    Oh no, what a nightmare for you. I always struggle with Eliza’s birthday as she is January, but twixmas would be worse

  • Helen March 27, 2019 at 6:06 am

    Oh no – what a shame that the same effort isn’t put into your birthday! We all deserve a treat once a year 🙂

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