Today is my birthday, that day in the year I dread coming around. Now it’s not because I don’t want to be another year older but due to the lack of interest and bad luck, my previous birthdays have encountered.
I think I first remember hating my birthday when I was 9 years old, my mum had thrown me a party at home and one of the girls who lived across the road broke my little brother’s toy gun he had received for Christmas and I was so upset.
Ever since then I don’t think I have really enjoyed my birthday. As most people who celebrate their birthday during the festive period will tell you, your birthday falls into one of two camps…
a) less presents, well you just got loads for Christmas so why would you need anything special for your birthday?
b) Forgotten, yes that’s right forgotten… the old ‘oh I didn’t realise it was your birthday, sorry‘ excuse (year after year)
During the year I make a big effort for those special to me for their birthdays, secretly hoping that when it comes to my birthday they will return the kindness but NO! I organise parties, meals out, birthday cakes and lovely presents, taking the time to make sure I get the perfect thing for them.
Come December 29th and what do I get??
A birthday cake… no, unless I go and buy it myself from the supermarket
A card… maybe if anyone remembered to post it in time
A well thought out and meaningful present… usually not, probably wrapped up in Christmas paper and hastily bought in the sales as whoops they forgot it was my birthday until the last minute.
I am bitter… YES
Do I think it will change… NO
So now every year I do the whole ‘oh I’m not bothered about my birthday‘ to save myself from thinking that just maybe this year will be different.
Just one year I would love to have a special day, where a meal out (or similar) has been organised without me having to book anything. A cake has been arranged, again without me having to go and purchase it. I realy don’t care about the presents I just would love those special to me to make an effort.
Maybe next year…