Dear So and So… YODEL delivery driver

Dear YODEL delivery driver,
 
I know that this time of year you are busy and that you just want to deliver your parcels. I know it is a pain when you arrive at my house and find nobody home.
 
Last week I arrived home to find a card through my door stating ‘behind wall’. I’m assuming you meant my front garden wall… well its only 2ft high, open to the world and on a main throughfare for those going to and from the town centre. So it will be no surprise to hear that when I looked behind said wall there was nothing there.
 
Luckily the company I ordered from were understanding and have arranged for a replacement to be sent out but with a different delivery firm!
 
So in future please leave me a card and I will a) arrange an alternative delivery day or b) go and collect from your depot.

Do NOT and I repeat DO NOT leave my parcels in a ‘safe place’ because my idea of a safe place and yours vary quite a bit.

Many thanks and Merry Christmas

A close up of text on a white background