I have blogged previously about my not so great relationship with my dad (aka Bob). Earlier this year i decided to bite the bullet and visit him after many years of absence. This was a difficult decision for me and in some ways I wish I had never bothered making the effort, however for the most part I am pleased I did. It helped me clarify the man I remember as a child with the real life version, is in fact the same self-centred being he always has been.
So when my mobile rang earlier today, I looked to see who was calling… Bob. I was a little surprised to see his name upon the screen but as quick as flash I had rejected the call. Almost immediately I was consumed with questions…
I wondered whether he would leave a voicemail, but no. I wondered if he would try again, but no. I wondered if it was bad news would it be my sister calling, little chance of that.
In reality he was probably ringing to talk about himself, what he had for Christmas dinner, how he spent his Christmas day and possibly a little doom and gloom thrown in for good measure. I am under no illusions that he was a) ringing to wish myself and my family all the best for Christmas b) show any interest in how my Christmas was or c) anything that wasn’t directly to do with him.
Just as I start to put him out of my mind, he seems to rear his ugly head again and stir up so many negative feelings.
Please Bob leave me alone, we are just two very different people… any chance we ever had of making a mends has long gone. Let us draw a line under everything and move on in our own separate lives.