PARENTING | How to be a Calm and Chilled Out Parent, No Matter What

August 15, 2019

Raising kids is probably one of the toughest challenges you’ll face- after all, handling a tantrum-throwing toddler after a long day at work can really get on your nerves and make you lose your cool. If you find yourself secretly wanting a proper civilized conversation with your kid, and wanting to be more in control of yourself and be that chilled out parent, here’s some help your way.

Keep reading to discover how you can do just that – no matter what.

Pause

One of the best ways to find your cool when you’re struggling to control a kid who’s having a full-blown meltdown in public or just seems to go out of the way to make things tough for you is this- just pause. Don’t react. Just take a slow, deep breath and observe. Doing this can calm your brain down instantly and you’ll be able to respond, instead of just reacting. When you pause, you’re much more in the present, and you’ll be able to keep yourself centred and more in control of your emotions.

Ditch the Perfect

This one’s the golden rule of parenting- never ever compare yourself to other parents, or overburden yourself with the idea of being the perfect parent. Frankly, there’s no such thing. Humans are flawed, and just like with other aspects of our life, we are bound to make mistakes with parenting too. Don’t try too hard and overexert yourself being everything to everyone. Just make sure you’re there for your kids when they need you, and that you’re taking care of yourself too while you’re at it. Not only will this make you feel less stressed out as a parent, but it’ll also make you much less likely to lose your mind when things aren’t going right.

Adapt

Your kid is growing fast, and there are several changes going on within him- both physically and mentally, and naturally, the only way to keep up with that is to adapt and learn. You may have set a few rules for yourself mentally when it comes to parenting and raising your kid, and while that’s great, remember- change is the only constant. When things don’t seem to work for you anymore, maybe consider doing things differently. The more easily you take difficult scenarios and the more open you are to changing how you deal with them, the easier it will be for you to keep your cool.

Own It

Losing your temper (and your mind) isn’t anything new – literally all parents have faced it once in a while, and if you’re guilty of that, don’t worry- it’s okay. Own it. Admit that you lashed out. Apologize. Identify what made you calm down. This will help you put the situation behind you instead of constantly obsessing over it. Plus, it allows you to understand that you may make mistakes, but you can also get over them and understand your trigger points better, enabling you to look for alternate ways to handle the situation the next time it happens.


9 Comments

  • Helen August 15, 2019 at 7:54 am

    Very wise words. I have a tendency to be a shouter when I end up refereeing 3 feral small folk and I always feel horrendous afterwards. 6 weeks into the summer holidays and they are fed up with each other and with me! I definitely need to remember to pause again. Thank you for a great post.
    H x

  • Rebecca Smith August 15, 2019 at 8:57 pm

    Great tips. I try to be a calm parent but it isn’t always easy with all the bickering, especially over the holidays!

  • Elizabeth August 16, 2019 at 9:11 am

    Great tips, these! I was listening to a toddler have a full-blown meltdown in a shop yesterday and I admit I secretly thought to myself: I’m so glad mine are older and don’t do that any more! SUCH hard work it was, lol!

  • Elodie August 16, 2019 at 9:59 am

    One of my friends is having a baby and I will make sure to send her this. I think we all see “chilled” parents on social media and imagine it’s easy but I’m sure it takes effort to make everything look so effortless.

  • Alex gladwin August 17, 2019 at 9:40 am

    Completely agree with this. It’s so important not to put too much pressure on things being perfect and also so important to adapt as children grow! X

  • Kara August 17, 2019 at 5:10 pm

    It is so easier to resort to shouting but I have learned it doesn;t get anywhere. Reasoning or seperation are the best ways of dealing with kids

  • Charli Bruce August 18, 2019 at 5:22 pm

    Such a great post! Over the years I have become a calm parent, I used to let everything get to me and snap. Now I am so chilled I could practically be ice when it comes to the kids!

  • WhatLauraLoves August 18, 2019 at 9:18 pm

    Ditching the perfect is really sound advice. I know I get frustrated in my own life by wanting everything to be perfect xxx

  • Melanie williams August 20, 2019 at 10:47 am

    There are some really great tips here at what can be a hectic time of some peoples life. Staying calm is key x

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